Tag Archives: mental health humor

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The Existential Cat


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DSN-IV (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of ‘Normal’ Disorders) [humor]


Personality Disorders

301.666 Normal Personality Disorder

Meets qualification for at least two of the following criteria:

A. Egocentrism (at least one of the following):
(1) Egocentric perspective (e.g. fails to realize that others may have a different perspective, needs, nature, or experiences from his or her self)
(2) Egomania (e.g. acts or talks as though better or more important than peers or others)
(3) Selfishness (either of both of the following)

(a) Marked greed or covetousness
(b) Domineering or “bossy” attitude
B. Lack of originality (at least one of the following):
(1) Rigidly follows traditions or social rituals
(2) Is often “faddish,” follow the latest fads, fashions, or “crazes” invented or set by others
(3) Often demonstrates a “herd mentality” (e.g. thoughtlessly follows a social reference group or a local group of friends, often gives into “peer pressure”)
C. Lack of Sympathy (one or both of the following):
(1) Cruel or callous towards the feeling of others (e.g. engages in teasing or ridiculing other, plays potentially harmful “practical jokes” on unsuspecting victims who are unlikely to be amused)
(2) Often Manipulative (e.g. uses others as tools to towards own goals, treats others as objects which may be acquired for own satisfaction, uses dishonesty as convenient way to achieve social goals)

Description

An incredibly prevalent disorder, Normal Personality is dangerous and often chronic. Normal Personalities are primarily marked by conformity (either to tradition or to “fads”), self-centered attitudes and behavior, and a general lack of genuine caring for others.

Normal Personality often appears to begin early in life. As children, they are often excessively aggressive and cruel. They commonly believe they must have the latest toy from a commercial, or wear the latest fashion. Often Normal children have trouble with possessive pronouns, and will call all objects “mine.” Starring at cathode ray tubes (such as TVs) for long periods of time is also a common behavior.

As Normal Personalities are both extremely common, and potentially dangerous, the importance of them cannot be understated. The prognosis is often poor; however, Normal Personality can sometime be successfully cured. When dealing with Normal Personalities, it is generally best to watch your back, and to be as understanding as possible. In many cases it may be necessary to avoid contradicting the normal behavior, as normal people are likely to show aggression to those who refuse to follow their “norms.”

Associated Features & Differential Diagnosis

The exact relationship between normal personality and other forms of personality is disorder uncertain. It has been suggested that Normal PD may be a milder variant of Antisocial Personality Disorder. Also, many normal people are overly emotional, possibly showing evidencing a connection to Histrionic Personality, or even (considering the excessive need for even shallow companionship and selfish behavior) Borderline Personality. It may often be difficult to differentiate the more common Normal Personal ity from these other, more publicized disorders. As these diagnostic categories are not generally considered normal, they are not covered here, however, information on them may be found in the widely distributed DSM-IV, make their inclusion here unneeded.

It has also been noted that most cases of Normal Personality also have Neurotypical Disorder, and that converse is also true. However, Neurotypical individuals without normal personality are known, as is Normal Personality in rare non-Neurotypical people. Thus there is no reason to assume the presence of Neurotypicallity automatically implies a Normal Personality; therefore, a dual diagnosis of both Normal Personality and Neurotypical Disorder is perfectly acceptable. However, a possible causal relatio nship may exist, with Neurotypicallity contributing to the development of Normal Personality. Therefore, the presence of Normal PD should be reason to check for possible Neurotypicallity.

Prevalence

The exact prevalence and incidence are not know. However, normal personality appears to be frighteningly common, and it incidence may be increasing.

Prognosis

Normal personality is most often a lifelong condition. Rarely is there any significant improvement of symptoms. It has been suggested that the presence of Neurotypicallity makes the prognosis worse, though this has not been substantiated. Despite the severe social dependencies and possible cognitive impairments associated with Normal Personality, such people are often relatively high functioning. Many of them even become successful professionals, with politicians being an especially common in this pop ulation. However, the egocentrism, poor insight, and narrow standards of acceptability may make the person with Normal Personality dangerous to other in the community, being particularly threatening to those who are not themselves Normal.

http://isnt.autistics.org/dsn-npd.html

How To Get Ahead In Life (humor)


    
    1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.
     
    2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
     
    3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.
     
    4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.
     
    5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
     
    6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.
     
    7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.
     
    8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.
     
    9. Joan of Arc heard voices, too.
     
    10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
     
    11. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.
     
    12. I am at one with my duality.

    13. False hope is better than no hope at all.

    14. A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

    15. The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
     
    16. I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
     
    17. Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.
     
    18. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
     

     
     
     

     
     

     
     

THE 12 WARNING SIGNS OF GOOD HEALTH (humor)


THE 12 WARNING SIGNS OF GOOD HEALTH*

(If several or more appear, you may rarely need to visit a doctor.)

1. Regular flare-ups of a supportive network of friends and family.

2. Chronic positive expectations.

3. Repeated episodes of gratitude and generosity.

4. Increased appetite for physical activity.

5. Marked tendency to identify and express feelings.

6. Compulsion to contribute to society.

7. Lingering sensitivity to the feelings of others.

8. Habitual behavior related to seeking new challenges.

9. Craving for peak experiences.

10. Tendency to adapt to changing conditions.

11. Feelings of spiritual involvement.

12. Persistent sense of humor.

From http://www.bouldertherapist.com